


Squad Goals

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Feral Cat, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kenma with a gun, KuroKen - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Time Skip, Pretty Setter Squad, daisuga - Freeform, iwaoi - Freeform, mentions of cheating, not all pretty setters are here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:36:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kenma's married life was threatened by a series of phone calls.  So, does he play the victim, or come out swinging?
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Squad Goals

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This was the result of late night discussions, arguments and brainstorming. There might have been some Wheel Decide spinning and that decided the characters. 
> 
> Set somewhere in the US (football and use of first names) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chaos.

The day Kenma’s life changed started like any other. He awakened with the sun and planted his feet on the highly polished wooden floors of the master bedroom in their deluxe home. 

The home he shared with Tetsurou, his husband of 10 years, and their two beautiful cats, Pudding and Macky. It was spring, the birds were chirping outside the bedroom window in the live oak, whose branches he could reach out and touch through an open window.

There was a smile on his face. This week’s game was a home game and Kenma’s hot, dorky husband was home for at least three weeks. It was nice having him back longer for a change.

As the leading quarterback in the NFL, his team was on a winning streak, which meant lots of travelling. With their two cats at home and his busy schedule with his YouTube career, there was no way Kenma could travel around the country the way he used to when they were newly-weds.

On the side table of Kenma’s gaming room were the flowers Tetsu had sent him the day before. It was a standing arrangement; every Wednesday, no matter where he was, he sent Kenma flowers.

The fresh ones were hand delivered by him personally along with kisses and a box of apple pie. It was early yet, but he’d already left for team practice. 

The memory of the night just shared still left Kenma feeling the warm fuzzies. The twinge he still felt when he moved that morning, the scattered hickeys and love bites all over his body and the sensitivity of his nipples made him blush just a little, at the memory of how they got there.

His heart felt light; there was so much love and pride there. Pride because after all these years, they’d held fast to each other and stayed true. Even through separations, when the team had to be on the road for away games.

~~

He was about to go take his morning shower and get ready for the day. That’s when someone ripped away the curtain of serenity and left Kenma staring at a blank dark wall.

It started with that first phone call. Some strange voice on the other end, telling Kenma how she’d single-handedly brought down Kenma’s little world of flowers and catnips, because yes, until that moment he had always been Tetsu’s Kitten. No one else had ever filled that role.

Kenma’s heart crashed against his ribs, each thud echoing in his racing mind. _It couldn’t be. He’d done everything right, he’s a good husband and best friend._

But, his mind started mocking him. _You don’t know how to cook, you spend a lot of time in your games, you don’t like sports, you’re boring._

He slammed hard on the negative thoughts in his mind. This is not the time to think about all this stupid shit. A thief had just slinked in and told Kenma that she’d been screwing his husband for the past year.

When the buzzing in his head died down, he shook off the unease that slithered down his spine and gathered his thoughts. 

_Do I believe her?_

__

If it’s true, what stand do I take?

__

_Do I play the victim or come out swinging?_

~~

A cup of coffee and two slices of apple pie later, Kenma spiraled into the dark place in his mind. His stomach hurt, his heart hurt. He sat stock-still; is it truly over? Had the man that he loved and trusted, really threw away the life they built together?

The phone rang again, jarring Kenma into the present and he absently picked it up. It was her again, calling to rub it in. He clenched the phone and hissed, “I’m not listening to your mindless babble. You and I are not friends, and if you call my house again, I’ll have you picked up on harassment charges.”

Click.

Kenma took deep breaths to get his breathing back to normal. That felt good. He grabbed his power back. Now he needed to pull himself together. It was almost time for the cheating jock to return home.

~~

“Honey, I’m home. Kitten? Where are you?” Kenma heard Tetsurou come to the door with his usual exuberant entrance. He used to secretly think it was so cute, now with that girl’s voice ringing through his head, he couldn’t find the humor. That’s sad, one more thing tainted.

How was it possible that someone or something could cause so much destruction, in the space of one little phone call? Just a few hours ago, this man was the love of his life, the air the he breathed.

It was do or die time. What is he going to do? Turn on the waterworks and go down to the path of the poor betrayed husband? Or fight like the hellcat he used to be. He had to make a decision now, because Tetsurou’s footsteps were bringing him closer to where Kenma sat in the kitchen.

“Hey, Kitten what’s the matter, what’s wrong?” Tetsurou came over to his chair, all sweet concern; the snake. Kenma evaded Tetsurou’s hand as he went to touch his cheek.

“Tetsu, your ladylove called me today.” Kenma said deadpanned, body tensed with the anger that’s been there since the phone call. 

“My what?”

“You know, the woman you’ve been screwing for the past year.” 

“Kitten, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tetsurou dropped his gym bag and reached for Kenma again who stood from the chair and took a step back. 

“Kenma, cut it out. This isn’t funny. Is this another one of those things you and the squad cooked up?” He gave Kenma the look he knew so well, that boyish grin, with the sparkling eyes, and windblown hair. Kenma felt his heart tear a little. Had Tetsurou shared himself with someone else? Given what’s Kenma’s to someone else? Someone he loved more?

“Don’t lie to me Kuroo, it will only piss me off more.” Kenma felt steam coming out of his ears. His knuckles white from clenching his fist too hard. There are a lot of things he wasn’t sure of at that moment, but there was something niggling at the back of his mind. There must be something going on, something that he missed. Why would the woman call their home with this bullshit?

“I’m not lying and you’re starting to piss me off. Now what has gotten into you? I left here this morning and my kitten was cuddly and warm and adorable, now I come back home to … a feral cat.” He waved his hand in Kenma’s direction.

“This mother…”

“KENMA…” Clunk. That was the sound of the coffee mug connecting with his head. Kenma stomped his way out of the room and headed for the stairs, with Tetsurou hot on his heels. He was madder now that Tetsurou was here and pretending to not know what he was talking about.

“I can’t believe I wasted my youth on you. Do you know that I could have any man I wanted? I could’ve been with Shoyou in the past fifteen years!” Kenma inwardly cringed at the lies he was spouting. He shuddered at the thought of being with another man that’s not Tetsurou. He knew it was the anger shouting with the intent to hurt his husband the same way he was hurting at that moment. He knew mentioning Shoyou would get him.

Tetsurou’s face turned red and he bounded up the stairs after Kenma.

Right. Kenma forgot how easily Tetsurou got riled up and pissy when the topic was Kenma with another man. But this was Kenma’s fight, he was the one wronged here and Tetsurou had no right getting upset after what he’d done.

That didn’t stop Testurou from grabbing his husband and backing him into the wall. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

Kenma just stared up at him; his face red with all that heat and anger. “See, doesn’t feel so good when the tables are turned, does it?”

“I … do… not… know… what… you… are TALKING ABOUT! I don’t have any ladylove or whatever the hell you called it. Now what the fuck was that crack about?” Tetsurou said through clenched teeth. He was taken aback by the depth of Kenma’s anger, and he racked his brain for anything he could’ve done to warrant this, while fighting panic and his own rising anger. At least he’s dealing with this rather than Kenma’s silent wrath, which is a hundred times worse. 

“It’s about you cheating, and what’s good for you applies the same to me, right? I’m going to call Shoyou and ask him to meet me later.” Kenma’s so lying. He’s too scared of Shoyou’s partner and too in love with the cheating bastard he called husband.

He slipped away and ran for the bedroom, slamming the door behind him, he wasn’t fast enough to lock it though, but Tetsurou still kicked the door in.

~~

Kenma tried running over the bed to get away, but he was no athlete like his husband who was on him too quick.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on around here, but I do not appreciate that shit you just said to me.” He was busy tearing at Kenma’s sweats as he spoke while Kenma was doing his best not to give in.

Kenma’s internally berating his body’s reaction to his husband. He just found out that Tetsurou may or may not be cheating on him, but his body still craved his touch. How was that possible? 

“Tet-- Kuroo, quit it, I don’t want you right now.” _Liar._

“Too bad, Kitten, I want you. I always want you.” 

_Oh no_. He went for Kenma’s neck, which is his slut spot (Tooru’s words, not his). Other people have sweet spots, that’s too tame for what Tetsu’s teeth on his neck does to him.

Kenma tried not to raise his hips, he really did. But when he felt the hot tip of Tetsu’s dick on his leg, he couldn’t help it. He felt his husband’s lubed finger, slowly enter him, in contrast to the frenzied biting, licking and sucking. 

He fell another notch deeper for his husband and his anger melted a little. Kenma could sense Tetsurou’s frustration and anger, but he’s still careful and attentive to his needs. Tetsurou turned him over and lifted him to his knees and surged in while pulling his hair and biting his neck. 

_Damn_. The trifecta, he was pulling out all the stops. He lost all thought when he felt the pleasure-pain of that warm steel slide into him. He pushed his ass back against him, arched his back and sucked Tetsurou in. He had something to prove, apparently, because whereas this morning’s loving was soft and sweet, this was a ‘lose your mind to pleasure’ pounding.

“Tetsu, oh shit, what…” Kenma had to spread his legs to ease the pressure a little as Tetsurou continued to go deeper and harder than he’d ever been. 

_I love it_.

“Don’t you ever say that shit to me again. You ever look at other men, I’ll destroy them.” 

Kenma was too far gone to answer his crazy statement; the pounding was so good, his husband was so hot, so angry at the thought of Kenma with another man that he was losing his mind.

“Do you hear me, Kenma Kuroo? Answer me.”

“Yes, yes, yes…” Kenma wasn’t sure if he was answering Tetsu or praising his performance. They’ve always had great sex, but this was off the charts. So, this was Tetsu when he’s unrestrained, claiming and marking his. How was Kenma supposed to give this up? 

Tetsurou released Kenma’s hair and snaked his hand around Kenma’s raging hard on, pumping it in time with his pounding. 

“Tetsu --” his body tensed and the sudden touch hurtled him in an intense orgasm, the pleasure lasting for a moment, everything feels numb and he vaguely heard Tetsurou growling until he, too, tensed up and came a bucket load in Kenma. He stayed planted inside him until they were both breathing normal again.

“I love you, Kitten.”

~~

That was day one. After Tetsurou took Kenma down and mounted him like a beast, he wasn’t about to hear shit about the issue again. He just warned Kenma that his mouth was going to get his ass in trouble again.

Kenma wasn’t about to let it go. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the woman (loosely used term here) who called his house, but he had nothing. All Tetsurou would say was that somebody was messing with him, and that Kenma should just ignore them. 

_What? Is he serious?_

Tetsurou left for practice the next morning and Kenma was dreading it. He didn’t want his husband out of his sight. He even thought about driving by the field to spy on him, and that saddened him. He never had any doubts about his marriage before, never had to check up on him. This was a new level for him, and he needed all the information he could get to devise a plan on how to eliminate this problem.

Of course, he looked at the phone when it rang, he knew it had to be her. 

“Good morning, Kenma, hope you had a good night last night. You should enjoy these last few nights with MY man, because soon, everything will be mine. I wonder would I do with those cats of yours? Should I leave them in a shelter? Or just abandon them somewhere?”

This bitch (Tooru would be proud of this) was crazy as shit. _Going after my babies_? 

“Really, don’t you have anything better to do with your time? I could care less bout you or your little fantasy world.” _That’s right Kenma, don’t let this bitch know she’s getting to you. These things can scent blood_. He could hear the encouragement of his squad in his mind.

“I feel sorry for you. Your husband is hot, full of life and passion and here you are, boring, ugly and in denial. Why don’t you just accept it? MY Tetsurou doesn’t want to be saddled with you anymore. He found a better partner.”

Take a deep breath, Kenma. _Ohh, I’m so telling Koushi you called me ugly_. Don’t crumble, don’t weaken. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He knew Tetsurou was loyal and faithful although he wanted nothing to do with it. Tetsurou thinks that by ignoring it, it will go away, but Kenma wanted to know why he was singled out. It’s Kenma’s problem now to deal with. 

“I’ve been with Tetsurou for more than 20 years, 10 years of those, happily married. I’ve built a life with my husband, the life we vowed to each other. I’m not gonna let you ruin it. I’m not going to listen to the crazy ramblings of an obsessed fan.” Click.

Kenma guessed he pissed her off because not even ten seconds later his phone started chiming away like crazy. He looked at his phone and saw picture after picture of Tetsurou with some petite brunette. The pictures weren’t really discriminating. They weren’t in any compromising position, but he was there, and he was smiling.

Kenma saw red. The last caption said, ‘oh, by the way, the first thing I’m gonna do is get rid of that gaming room and turn it into my personal wardrobe. I’m more into fashion than gaming.’ Complete with a smiley face. Boom.

~~

His fingers furiously pushing buttons, effectively decimating the monsters his character was fighting on screen. Kenma’s mind wasn’t sure if to shut down or spiral out of control. He wanted to call his squad, as Tetsurou like to call them, but he was afraid to. If this got out, if he talked about it, it would make it more real.

How did she know about his gaming room? He had a face, but not a familiar one. How was he going to deal with Tetsurou now? How was he going to explain this in a way that would make Kenma believe him? He went after the wine bottle, a bad idea, he knew, but one that he needed to calm himself down. Thank God his babies were with his mom. They wouldn’t see how their papa went berserk to their dad.

Tetsurou came through the door whistling, two hours later. Kenma was ready and waiting for him. 

“Kenma what… what’re you doing?” He came up short and his eyes went wide. That’s the expected reaction when a drunk husband pointed a gun at your goods.

“Before you think of lying… she sent pictures.”

“Pictures? What pictures?” He looked totally befuddled. Kenma slid his phone over for him to see.

“This is nothing, we were…” Kenma got up to face him and he backed off.

“Let me ask you something. Did you forget who you married? When I said till death do us part, I meant it.” Kenma scratched his thigh with his glock as Tetsurou’s eyes followed the movement and he swallowed.

“Kitten, calm down I can explain; this is perfectly innocent. I don’t know why Kaori..”

“Is that her name? Who is she?” 

“She’s one of the girls on the cheering squad, we’re just friends, not even that we just…”

“Save it. She told me all about it.”

“Kenma, I don’t know why she’s doing this, but nothing happened. Come on, you know that’s not the kind of man I am.”

“Do I? This ends now.”

He went to their room and started to get ready.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to call my squad. I’ve got things to do.” Kenma said quietly and this scared Tetsurou even more. “Oh, and she said that she was in my house.”

“Kitten, please stop this. Nobody was in this house what … I’ll talk to her and find out what’s going on. Maybe there’s some kind of misunderstanding.”

Kenma didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t sleep with her, Kitten, it was just conversations.”

“Was your phone broke?”

Tetsurou looked at Kenma with a puzzled frown on his face. “No. Why?”

“If you need someone to talk to, you have a husband who was here lonely and needing conversation too. I ought to just punch you in the face.”

Tetsurou tried talking but Kenma was done with whole thing.

“We just talked about random stuff. About our babies, and how they like you more than me. I even told her your YouTube account and asked her to subscribe. I never gave her any reason to think that there was anything more going on. You can ask the guys. They’d vouch for that.”

“Who? Daichi? Hajime? Like I’d believe them. Now, I’m going to call my squad and vent my frustrations to them. You stay away from that woman, do you understand me, Tetsurou Kuroo?”

“I understand that you’re angry, and no, twirling that gun around your finger doesn’t scare me. I didn’t do anything.” He knocked the gun out of Kenma’s hands.

“I told you, right? Now calm down.”

“She threatened to take my babies!”

“She what?” 

“Yes, she threatened to take my babies and give them to a shelter.”

Kenma’s tired of the back and forth that’s happening. It’s time to bring out the pouting and tearing up. “I need to do this. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?”

He flinched as if Kenma’d hit him. Tetsurou rested his forehead against Kenma. “Why the fuck is this happening? I only had a couple of conversations with her with other people around. I never even touched her hand, nor I want to.”

“It’s okay, baby, don’t worry. Why don’t you lie down and rest.” Kenma believed him. Tetsurou couldn’t look at Kenma in the eye when he lies, he knew he was telling the truth. Good. Game on.

~~

As soon as Kenma left his husband on the bed, he went to the bathroom to wash and get ready. He took his phone and sent out an S.O.S to let his squad know what was going on. They’d all replied they’d meet him at the designated spot in an hour. Time to get a move on.

Now the squad’s made up mostly of team husbands. It makes sense that when their men were away, they’re there for each other. Even the coach’s husband hangs with them and he’s a bit older. Kenma wasn’t sure how to tell them about this. None of them had ever had to deal with this particular headache before.

Kenma left after giving his husband a disinterested smooch on the lips. He’s still mad and he’d make Tetsurou sweat for the shit that Kenma had to deal with because of his ‘conversations’.

~~

The squad was already waiting when Kenma got there. He guess he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was on the phone, because they were all looking at him with worried expressions. 

He sat down and ordered his first Appletini. They knew it was on.

“Okay, so what happened? Spill” Koushi asked.

Kenma told them the whole story, from beginning to end. The first thing that Tooru did, was break out his phone and search for this Kaori broad. He called around to some of the other girls on the squad, and Yachi, their manager until he got what he was after.

“Carry on.” He wasn’t looking too happy.

“What do you want to do, Kenma?” Ittetsu asked.

There’s four of them in the squad. Tooru, Koushi, Ittetsu, the coach’s husband and Kenma. Ittetsu did not say anything else, although his pursed lips and grim face speak for him. He’s just waiting for their decision.

“Are you going after the woman?” Koushi asked, clearly annoyed after hearing that the woman tried to break Kenma’s self-esteem.

Kenma looked at the last member of their squad. Just by looking at him Kenma already knew what he’s gonna say. But just in the off chance that he might talk Kenma down off his ledge…

“Tooru?”

“Let’s go break this bitch.” 

Well, then.

~~

“Do you know where she lives, Kenma?”

“Relax, Koushi. I do. That’s what I was doing.” Tooru said and held up his phone.

“Let’s go! She threatened and pulled my furr-god-babies into this mess.”

“And no one calls Kenma ugly.”

“Koushi, I can see smoke coming out your ears!”

“Okay let’s take it easy.” Kenma said.

“Fuck that, we gotta stick together. If my husband fucked up, I’d expect you to have my back. We have to keep these men in line. It’s like the domino effect, one falls the other topple over like jackasses. Let them see how we deal with a bitch that steps outta line and they’ll think twice.” 

“Yeah… What Tooru said. Let’s show them who the real bitches are!”

“So, are we all in? Ittetsu?” Kenma asked.

“Now, Kenma, I hope you’re not planning anything illegal, last time coach wailed my ass but good.”

“Whoo hoo go coach!” Koushi and Tooru and their loud mouths.

“Koushi!”

“Daichi?” Kenma looked over his shoulder after Koushi called his husband’s name, to see all their husbands heading their way. What the fuck?

“Hey,” Hajime greeted them and went directly to Tooru, whispering something that made the other blush. 

“What are the you doing here? Where are the babies?”

“I told mom they’re staying there for the night.” He gave Kenma that ‘you and me, Kitten, it’s on’ look. He moved Kenma over and sat next to him so he could whisper, “My kitten was in need of my attention so mom is watching the babies for us for the rest of the weekend until after the game.”

“But how did you know where we were?” 

“Coach heard Yachi talking to Tooru earlier. He asked her where you were.”

“Now, Tetsurou told us what’s been going on. We all need to keep a cool head here and handle this thing like adults.”

“Coach, when I come into your locker room and tell you how to handle your shit, then we’ll talk. Until then, this is between me and my squad.” 

“Kenma...” he gave Tetsurou the bitch brow and he held up his hands.

“Ittetsu, I would’ve expected better from you.”

“I don’t see why, Keishin. If you’d done this shit, I would’ve already boiled your nut sac.” There was a lot of spewed drinks after that one. The prim and proper Ittetsu just took a sip of his martini as his husband looked at him dumbfounded.

“Come on, the spas aren’t going to be open all night. Let’s go.” Koushi said, giving Daichi a heated kiss before gathering his things and standing.

“Yes, yes… I need a massage to help me relax after all the shit I’ve been through today.” Tooru said, pouting at his husband who just smirked and smacked his butt.

“Tetsu… see you at home.” Kenma said as Tetsu kissed his forehead and let him stand.

As the squad left, they could almost hear the collective sigh of relief from their clueless husbands.

~~

“You got the address, Tooru?”

“Oh shit, what are we doing?” 

“Calm down, Koushi, you don’t have to get out of the car, but I need to deal with this shit tonight.”

“I’ll get out, I just wanna know what we’re doing.” 

They drove out to the apartment complex, which was on the other side of town. They decided to park a little way down, after circling the block.

It was dark and the streets were relatively quiet. “Maybe we should just ring some random doorbell and see if they let us in.” That was Tooru’s idea and it sounded good to us.

“That might work.” They started walking up when Ittetsu grabbed Kenma’s arm and pulled them up short. “Look at that.”

“You have got to be kidding me. What’re they doing here?”

They stood back and watch as Mika and Suguru walked to the apartment complex. They all stood motionless, nothing was making sense. Why were they here? How did they play into this shit?

“That bitch…” Tooru started to pounce.

“NO, Tooru, wait, this changes shit; there’s something fishy as fuck going on here.” Kenma said as they watched from the hedges as Suguru kissed his wife goodbye and turned and walked back to his car.

Suguru is the new member of the team, he plays second string to Tetsurou, and since Kenma’s husband is the shit, Suguru doesn’t really get any play. Though the few times they met, he seemed amiable enough, one of those good boys, just happy to make the team. So, what the fuck?

~~

They tried Tooru’s trick and started pressing random door buzzers. They had a quick regroup in the lobby, but by then, they were all as pissed as Kenma.

“I can’t believe that asshole is part of this. After we accepted him into the fold and treated him like family.”

“We don’t know that he’s involved Tooru.”

“Fuck that; I say we break that dickless wonder’s kneecaps after we’re through with the wife.”

There was no talking to her when he got like this, so there was no use to even try.

They heard raised voices as soon as they reached the third floor. Keeping close to the wall, they made their way as quietly as possible towards the door.

“Why are you so stupid? All you had to do was fuck Tetsurou, make his life hell and get him out of the way. How hard could it be?”

“The guy wasn’t interested. And besides he’s nice. The deal was that I would get to keep him, and after his life got back together, he’d be back on the team.”

“Suguru only needs one shot. It’s not like I was asking you to destroy his career, with a scandal, he wouldn’t be so high and mighty, and with his husband’s gone, he would’ve messed his life. You said yourself how he couldn’t stop talking about his gamer husband. And how did he find out who you were anyway? I gave you the throwaway phone.”

“I started to use it but then he was mean and I sent him pictures. I guess he found out who I was and…”

“Damn you really are an idiot.”

Kenma looked at his companions and shook his head. he’d heard enough by the way. He walked up to the door and knocked. As soon as it was opened, they went inside.

“You sit your ass down, we just wanted to talk.” Tooru ordered Kaori back into her chair when she tried to make a break for it. Ittetsu and Koushi were blocking the doorway. 

~~

“Who gave you the idea to mess with my family?” Kenma quietly asked, his body shaking with much repressed anger.

“What, no one, I came here to talk some sense into the girl that’s all…”

“You lying bitch.” 

Mika’s whole face and personality changed. Gone was the nervous woman who opened the door. In her place was the venomous snake that she truly was. She swung at Kenma and caught him in the cheek.

“Hey!” Tooru pushed her away from Kenma, knowing that his friend would not fight back.

That enraged the idiot and she charged. Ittetsu hurried over and held her back.

There was a ruckus at the door and the boys came charging in. “Oh shit.”

“What the fuck? KENMA who the fuck hit you in your face?”  
He wasn’t expecting that, he was expecting at the very least a lecture. There was mass pandemonium as everybody started talking at once. Coach took things under control by blowing his whistle. _Did the man sleep with that damn thing?_

Kenma and the squad lined up together, a united front; while the two twats were squirming on the sofa. And in walked Daishou.

“What’s going on?” He saw his wife on the sofa and went over to her.

“Mika, what happened?” He turned to the rest of us. Poor guy, he was green as a tree stump.

“These people barged in our house. I’m going to call the police and have them all arrested, and I want him off the team.” Delusional bitch.

“Okay, what went on here?” Coach got in the middle.

They started trying to talk over each other again. Lying out their asses. Meanwhile Tetsurou was checking Kenma for damage. “Kitten.” He kissed Kenma’s cheek. Then he hugged Kenma and turned back to the others.

“Wait let me…” Koushi started fiddling with his phone.

“Shoot the kids taught me how to do this and…wait here we go.” He pressed a button and Mika’s voice came through loud and clear. Well it was a little tinny, but I don’t think anyone had any doubts as to what was being said and who was saying it.

Funnily enough, all eyes were on Daishou. The look of horror on his face was enough to answer the question of whether or not he was involved. That, and the way he extricated himself from his darling wife and looked at her as if she were a stranger.

“You did this…? You…”

“I did it for us Daishou, this was our big chance. If you weren’t so blinded by hero worship for the big great Tetsurou, you could’ve pushed for more playing time.”

What a fucking horror show.

“I’m sorry coach, I’ll be gone tomorrow.” He hung his head and Kenma felt bad. 

“Where’re you going?”

“Well I, she…she’s my wife, she did all this.”

“Boy if I was held accountable for all the hair-brained shit my husband gets up to when he’s with this lot, I’d never see the side of a football field again. In the same token, I can’t see punishing you for something you didn’t do.

You haven’t given me any reason to pink punish you. As for your wife, she’s banned from any all things related to my team. I’ll have her arrested if she even drives by the field. I don’t know if Tetsurou and Kenma want to press charges...”

“Hell yeah I want to press charges.”

“What?”

“She hit you in the fucking face.”

“Tetsu, it’s fine.”

“I don’t give a fuck she started this shit.” He made as if to go after her and Kenma pulled him back by his arm.

“Tetsu what are you doing?”

“I’m going to pop her one, what do you think?”

“You can’t hit a girl.”

“Why not? She wants to play in the big leagues, let her get a taste. Plus she tried to single handedly destroy my marriage and my career.” Oh boy, time to calm him down.

Hajime walked over to Suguru, while Daichi was making sure Koushi was unharmed. 

“Come on bro, I know a good divorce lawyer.”

“Excuse me.” Tooru followed them out the door.

“I’m talking about my cousin, Tooru, calm your ass down.”

“Oh.”

“Crazy. Come here, Tooru”

“You’re lucky you’re going home with this crazy, Haj.” They went off arguing while holding each other’s hands.

“You get any of that action, Ittetsu?”

“Nah, this was for our Kenma, I was just along for ballast. But next time…”

“What next time, there better not be a next time.” They walked out the door next. Daichi and Koushi looked at them with their arms wrapped around each other.

“Come on Cap, let’s blow this joint.”

“I’m right behind you Daichi.”

“Uh, that would be negative. I’m not leaving you back here with these two idiots, we have enough shit to deal with as it is.”

“Come on, Tetsu, let’s go see our babies. I miss them.”

“I have to take care of your face first and other parts of you too, Kitten. Then we’ll get the babies okay?”

“Sure.”

“I love you, Kitten.”

“Hey Koushi, you get any video on that thing or just the sound? I haven’t seen Kenma and Tooru on action since high school.”

Koushi went to fiddling again, oh boy.

They walked out the door and never looked back.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> ☺☺ Thank you for reading.❤❤❤
> 
> It was fun writing this and I hope you had fun reading it, too. ☺☺
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated.❤❤❤


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